Inviting Anxiety to Tea
If you have ever had anxiety you know that it doesn’t feel pleasant. The familiar onset of anxiety - rapid heartbeat, laborious breathing and the inability to focus on one thing at a time. You may have tried to just deal with it by pushing it down or away. Anxiety may come on out of no where: while driving, connecting to others, waking up in the morning and the list goes on. But what if the very thing you've been pushing away holds a hidden key? What if, instead of running, you could learn to meet your anxiety with curiosity? Imagine dissolving its power not through force, but through gentle inquiry – like inviting it for tea and listening to what it has to say. Sound unlikely? Let me explain.
We are taught early in life that if something causes us pain, our instinct is to move away from it. Pain serves as a powerful motivator for change, and the intensity of that pain often dictates the urgency of our response. The childhood lesson of a hot stovetop – a sharp, immediate 'ouch!' – quickly teaches us avoidance. Yet, when it comes to the more complicated pain of emotions, the lines become blurred. We often learn to normalize a consistent, low hum of anxiety, a constant companion in the background of our day. This normalization can be a subtle form of avoidance itself. When the volume turns up, our go-to might be a doctor's prescription, a quick exit strategy to silence the discomfort. But let me be clear, this isn't for those facing debilitating anxiety requiring medical intervention. This is for the many who live with that ever-present background anxiety and who are willing to explore a more transformative path: shifting their relationship with it through curiosity and inquiry.
So how do we begin this curious exploration? The next time you feel the familiar symptoms of anxiety, take a moment to observe the threshold of discomfort in your body. Think of a spectrum from 1-10 - one being a barely noticeable sensation like shallow breathing and 10 being on the verge of a panic attack. Pause, breathe and ask yourself: what number is this anxiety right now? If it is a 6 or more this might not be the best time to inquire. Instead, perhaps the initial practice is to become skilled at noticing anxiety's early signals, those subtle shifts in your body – a tightening in your shoulders, a clenching in your jaw, and holding your breath. If the anxiety is a 5 or less, when you have a bit more space to observe without being overwhelmed, we have an opportunity: to extend an invitation to tea. Literally imagine anxiety taking a seat across from you. Get creative and let your imagination flow with its form and the setting. From here, ask anxiety a series of questions: Why does my body hang onto anxiety? What is the fear of letting anxiety go? What is anxiety protecting me from feeling or experiencing in the world? Allow any other questions to surface organically, and give your imagined guest the time and space to respond. You may be surprised as to what wisdom emerges. You now have the power to understand and adjust as in any evolving relationship to chart a new path forward and continue to support this open line of communication.
Anxiety isn't the enemy; it's a messenger. Just like all our emotions, it offers vital impressions, clues that help us make sense of our inner and outer worlds. The simple act of witnessing anxiety creates a crucial space – a buffer – that prevents us from being defined and consumed by that feeling. You are not a singular emotion but a multidimensional human being. By intentionally inviting anxiety (or any unpleasant emotion for that matter) to tea, you are actively reclaiming your inner authority. It's a powerful pause, a conscious check-in with yourself. Cultivating this practice allows you to settle more deeply into ease within your body and mind. This gentle inquiry is the very path to profound transformation.
